Whenever someone I know has a baby, I am taken right back to those first days with my own two boys.
Those first moments in the delivery room are warm and fuzzy and electric, buzzing with relief and excitement and awe. Everything drips with oxytocin. I was so full of emotion that I couldn’t land on one… love, pride, fulfillment, anxiety. My life was, in an instant, about so much more. What was that thing I was worried about yesterday anyway?
Hubby went home for the night so I was left to spend time with my son. My SON. Imagine… me, with a SON. We laid together, we slept together. When he woke up, I spoke to him and sang to him and rocked him to sleep in the quiet hours of the night. Those were our first moments together, a mother and son. And I so clearly remember looking into those little eyes so innocent and trusting and full of potential, looking up at a new mommy so full of love and wonder and yet so terrified at the newness of it all.
There are a million things people can tell you about having a child – the pain of labor, the lack of sleep, the crying jags, the growth spurts – but there is just no way to describe the feeling of becoming a mother, that moment when your little circle gets a little bit bigger.
It’s not easy but I hope, in the crazy moments of toddlerdom and whatever else life throws at us, I can always look into my kids’ eyes and go back to those first quiet days at the hospital.